Text by Oli Benet
„Fitness Vs Hipness“
Everyone knows aggressive rollerbladers are gangsters. Why would they be called aggressive rollerbladers if they weren’t? Even criminals and dangerous felons aren’t preceeded with the word aggressive. Aggressive Dangerous Felon sounds stupid.
The usually calm and zen-like Greg Mirzoyan was being instructed in no uncertain terms to get himself back to France at the earliest juncture and never come back by the Friday Night skate leader.
„There will be no jumping about and escaping the Friday Night Skate boundaries, young whippersnapper“ was the rough translation of what he was being told – I decided to leave out the aggressive gestures, swearwords and threats to his life that accompanied this vocal outburst.
Every time we try to do the Friday Night Skate it never quite works out. Of all the attempts we have made, only one has ever been finished and that was because it was just me on my own. I’m an elderly, mellow chap and I can follow the rulebook to the letter.
All these spritely young aggressive skaters love to force the other 200 or so neon yellow vest wearing fitness skaters to feast their eyes on grinds, gaps, dangerous road maneuvers and baggy pantaloons. We can’t help it. If you can show what fun you can have on skates when you go outside the box, is it good for us or is it bad? Will people say „Look at how cool that is! I’m buying some aggressive skates“ or, as the FNS team leader, do they think „Look at these show off arsewhole monkey screwers, thinking they are the kings of the road with no respect for our FNS project?“
I got one recreational skater kid to go out and buy some Xsjados the next day. What do you think of that Mr. Team Leader? You are going to have to deal with one more of us next week!
Check out previous Powerhouse features on Be-Mag here: