Enter The Powerhouse Comparative Safety Examination, Paper 01

Be-Mag·February 1, 2011

Text by Oli Benet

“Comparative Safety Examination, Paper 01“

Comparative Safety Examination, Paper 01. Please answer all questions.

A) Hill bombing and War-time bombing. Which is more dangerous? Discuss.

Hill Bombing involves high speed downhill skating; throw in some traffic, a few obtrusive trees, blind corners, a couple of traffic lights and a wild pig and you have yourself a suicide mission not unlike a Kamikaze pilot.

This brings me to an important point:

One wonders how much gasoline the Kamikaze planes were filled with at the beginning of a mission, and also how expensive the planes were? I wonder if you were looking for a cheap plane to impress a girl, surely you could always get a great deal on a Kamikaze plane?

Also, what kind of warranty do you think that Kamikaze planes had? How many pilots came back with a receipt? And if they did come back, was it to complain that it had blown up, or that it hadn’t? Did they have some kind of guarantee? “We guarantee this plane will explode upon impact, or your money back!”

“I flew into an American ship and only made a dent! I want my money back!”

So many questions unanswered…

War-time Bombing involved planes that were allowed to fly at great heights meaning that road traffic was not on their list of problems. “When pigs can fly” although used commonly in many conversations still hasn’t officially happened, so no danger of wild pig attacks during War-time Bombing. Also the chances of hitting a tree at 2000m height are fairly minimal, unless of course you encounter “Jack and the Beanstalk” which I’m not even sure is a true story… And as for blind corners, you can see everything from a pilots seat, and I mean everything!

In conclusion, I believe Hill Bombing on rollerblades is more dangerous than War.

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